To Be or Not To Be

To be or not to be parents through adoption. That is the question.
Even before Justin and I met we had a strong pull towards adoption. So once we met and spoke about kids, the discussion of child adoption inevitable came up. With both understand that the church is called to help orphans. So is that why we have such a heart for it. Are we personally really called to support orphans through adoption? Whats for us?
As most of you know with Jackson's grand entry into the world doctors have said it's probably not a good safe idea for us to try again naturally. With adoption it's our hope to have a child younger than Jackson. So because of that it makes the whole process of adoption more of a challenge. If we had 40 grand it would be less of an issue. But we don't. So going through social services is what seems best for us. The average age of children in social services ready for adoption is 8. So should we wait?
Another issue we have to consider is the moving every 3 years.
So, in my perfect world this is what I would love to see happen.
Option 1: I see this new doctor tomorrow and they say it would be ok for me to get pregnant but I would have to be monitored extremely close.
Option 2: some how we find a young mother who knows they are unable to provide for there child and we can do an open adoption with her.
The agency we met with this week said they do work with situations like that and the cost is around 15,000. Which is better than 40 to go though a private agency.
So I am torn. I want Jackson to have a sibling. Jackson has brought so much joy to our lives that I want to be able to share that with another child in our home!
Do we wait till Jackson is older and adopt a child who is older and easier to adopt?
I ask for your thoughts on this please. Especially those who have gone through this personally.
And I ask for your prayers. Prayers asking God for clear specific directions as to what he wants of us in this situation.

Love and Blessings!

Kacy